General

Title is supposed to say sad not ssd 😭😭😭


Im in a wonderful emotionally healthy relationship and I dont want to ever lose her. Feedism is off the table just as an FYI.
I have desires for feedism, but I WONT violate my morals or my girlfriends trust or autonomy (that shit is off the table, thats sociopathic)

Emotionally its fulfilling, validating and empowering just understand that.

But sexually???I have zero desires, none. But I have a knawing for a mutual gaining relationship. Its just a fantasy. Never have I had a successful feedism relationship as I gave up after attempting so much times to connect with a good fit. Like most of us here we have an ideal dynamic, but not having that part is painful in many ways. But a majority of the time. I am happy to have her in my life. Maybe this is just part of the human experience.

If you have zero sexual desires without feederism, and she won't have anything to do with it, unless she also has zero sexual desires, take it from me your relationship won't last no matter how well you get on in other ways.

Even then, in the long term your sexual desires will probably get the better of you, or she'll feel rejected by your lack of sexual interest. Either way one of you is almost certain to stray eventually.

Since you get on well with this girl there's no reason why you can't remain friends, at least until one of you finds a new partner, but as a monogamous relationship, I wouldn't hold out much hope. Sorry, that's probably not what you wanted to hear.

I would take Hiccupx's advice with a large grain of salt. There are several members on FF that are in happy, long-term relationships with non-feedist partners.

Hell, a lot of people end up in relationships with people who do not share their kink. My partner doesn't share all my kinks.

But it's fine because we have had talks about how we will handle things. And that looks different for each couple.

Have you guys talked about how you can indulge your kinks while still respecting the relationship? If not, that would be useful. Remember that is doesn't mean you end up stepping out of the relationship to be fulfilled. I'd brainstorm some suggestions before discussing with her, however.

It sounds like you’re in a really emotionally fulfilling relationship, and I think it’s awesome that you respect your partner’s boundaries when it comes to your feedism fantasies. Sex isn’t everything and there are plenty of successful relationships where sex is not a big focus or part of a relationship at all!

About the mutual gaining fantasy... Does it have to be made real? Maybe it could be explored through role play, fantasy, or even small ways your partner supports you indulging a bit with gaining or overeating sometimes? Little gestures could be enough to make this fantasy fulfilling without pushing anyone’s boundaries.

I’ve also been in situations with past partners where I tried things that weren’t really my cup of tea... but I was happy to compromise for their enjoyment, so maybe a chat about it is the best way forward. Just be honest and open and you can't really go wrong.

I’ll also say that for some people sex and kink are a really important part of a relationship, and without that physical desire and engagement they just won’t feel fulfilled. For those folks, it could potentially mean the end of a relationship like hiccupx says. But not everyone is the same and it really depends on how you feel and how your partner feels.

Hope this is somewhat helpful!

This is good advice in general. Honestly, more people in and out of the community need to keep such things in mind.

I would say hold onto what you got even if it means your kinks have to go to the way side. It’s tough out here to find someone you connect with like the way you sound you connect with them.

Only speaking for myself, never again could I be in a relationship in which I don't feel safe to be my true self. This kink isn't everything for me, but it's a big part of me. I'm fortunate to be in a relationship with someone whom I feel safe talking and sharing everything with... including my kinks, even if they are not shared.

At the core of any lasting and healthy relationship are love, trust, communication, respect and emotional intimacy. If you've found that with someone, you need to be able to be yourself around them and speak your truth. If you find yourself bottling things up because you're afraid that your partner won't like it, this is not sustainable.

To thine own self be true.